how is everyone doing this fine night. i’ll go first i’m losing my mind
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#personalMore you might like
reading older journal entries where i have breakdowns about minuscule things that no longer have any bearing on my life like
i am so tired of the passage of time
i need to show my appreciation for adonis bc he’s yet another arab poet whose exile resulted in the creation of subversive & thought provoking arabic poetry. i am in love w him
some of my fav quotes i highlighted on my first reading of on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong 🤍
― Elena Ferrante, The Story of the Lost Child
[text ID: Unlike stories, real life, when it has passed, inclines toward obscurity, not clarity.]
Anonymous asked:
ok hi hello there cianna!! this is the ‘love to me is like blah bla’ anon, and i’m here for another brain dump (more like mind garble) if you don’t mind! so. yesterday i went out with my grandma she’s about 5’1 and i’m 5’4, and she has trouble walking since she’s 75 now, so whenever we go out i lean towards her and reach for her hand, which (according to my parents) make me walk weird (my shoulders are slanted, they said). and yesterday my grandma was like “sweetheart, i’ll just hold you by the arm,” which i replied with “no, no, ma, it’s fine,” but she’s really stubborn so she just held unto me by the arm, and i think that’s really lovely (i’m not biased i swear). like, i think at some point yesterday i realized that it was lonely without her hand in mine. that i wished i was five again to hold her hand on my tallest tiptoes. so i slipped my hand in hers and just. enjoyed the feeling before she chastised me again and went back to holding my arm. tbh i think this is just me wishing i was a kid again lol. anyways, thanks again for having me here!! (feel free to delete the ask or smth too!) hope you have a great day // night!!!
I LOVE YOU
Anonymous asked:
Do you have any advice for someone going through the "people turnover" you described? I'm really questioning some current friendships but I'm scared of the consequences. Like I know if I lose these friends, there will be a massive hole in my life that cannot be patched easily or quickly
i’m going about it in a “demote, promote, or terminate” kind of way atm, while also being aware of my emotional capacity. there’s this really close friend i have, but now i’m realizing she’s not the best for me. cutting her off cold turkey would be too much for me, so for now i’ve resorted to demoting her–in my mind, she’s no longer that close friend i thought she was. she’s more of an enjoyment friend i’d call up to go out places w, pass the time w, etc… i wouldn’t trust her w personal details the way i did. i’m heeding my limits while also doing something about this situation.
other friends i’m straight up just “terminating.” something is fundamentally not working in our friendship, and i’d rather deal w the temporary grief over the long-term misery of keeping them in my life. that’s how i’m going about it–i’m weighing the temporary grief against the long-term consequences of continuing to invest. & there are also a friend or two i’m promoting :) realizing they’re actually really dope and they’re the ones i should be investing in the most instead. so we’ll see how that goes !
6 months ago this would have hurt like hell, but rn i’m honestly in a state of calm bc my life is so full without these people already that i can just double down on other areas of my life. studying, working out, reading, writing, other hobbies i wanna take up, a future i’m really excited about, being more in touch w my boundaries… just been a super therapeutic time for me. i know my world extends beyond these people. i guess what i’m trying to say is on the chance i lose literally everybody, i would not let there be a gaping hole for me to be in pain about. i’d just mend it w other facets of my life that are super vibrant already. i’ve learned a long time ago that friends, however much u adore them, should be an augmentation instead of the foundation of ur life itself. and i’m also the kind of person who’d rather be alone than surrounded by people i don’t connect with tbh